Love

As I depart the island, the air carries the heavy yet familiar scent of good bye. One last breath of my childhood home… It hurts, every time we say good bye it hurts. Some good byes are less painful. They are alleviated by some faith that things will be alright and the promise of a prompt and usual Christmas visit. “Vete tranquilo, nos vemos pronto.” -Mom says.

Other times, it is damn hard. The weight of uncertainty crushes your chest and rips apart every living shred of your already broken heart. Those times were faith fails you and is undermined by the circumstances. “La cosa está mala. No hay múcaro que eche rabo.” -Dad says.

The devious thing with life is that it’s deceivingly slow when we burry ourselves in daily routines. Lies, life unmistakably evaporates in front you, without regard for what you love and care for. Unforgivingly, it ravages youth with certainty. What was once full of life and strenght, grows frail, unwilling to accept its predicament. You watch from a distance, weak, unable, desperate, questioning what did this cruel thing do to you? How did we get here?

See, I may never know what is like to give parental love to a human being, love so powerful and unconditional. That is by personal choice. However, I have felt that love in the hugs of my parents and grandparents, in their broken voice and tears every-time I leave. That kind of love is so powerful it hurts, it tears you apart and it holds you together harmoniously.

I leave today, older, full of love; yet, broken. Unwilling to accept the aging of those I love, unwilling to concede to the fleeting nature of life.

I leave today wiser, eager to grip every ounce left of time, eager to capture those moments, to live those experiences, to honor my loved ones, to cherish their life, to not let distractions rob me of the precious instances that I have left to live.

If there’s a moral in all of this is that life is too damn short; still, we throw seconds, minutes, hours away, with our heads down in meaningless distractions. We loose grip, and in a blink of an eye, it’s gone. Hold on tight, hold on tight to those moments, those experiences. Hold on tight to your loved ones while they are present in this mortal life and guard your time fiercely! Be kind, love and be loved! As painful as it may be, love is one of the greatest gifts of our human condition. I doubt anyone in their dead bed has said, I wish I could’ve wasted more of my time…

Christian